HAPPY NEW YOU 2014!!!

The Big Girl Chronicles:  Happy New YOU 2014!!!

My 2013 Year-In-Review reveals some moderate highs… and lows.  Although I didn’t accomplish everything on my list of personal “renovations,” I am glad to mention that there were some things I did succeed in.  So as I begin to revise my resolutions for the forthcoming year I am eager about the challenge to take those improvements and continue to build while re-listing those goals that I missed for the New Year.  The thought of not having achieved a few of those goals I was most excited about can make the New Year seem as though it’ll only be an instant replay of 2013.  I mean, here it is another year and instead of building on this goal I’m still on the ground floor trying to figure out how to get things up and moving.  What is it about this “thing” that I can’t seem to make it happen?

Upon taking a look at the goals I held myself accountable for by writing them down and the record of progress I kept by journaling, I can detail what actions were helpful and what I could have done better.  Comparing the energy I put into those things I conquered successfully, it could be that I didn’t approach each goal with the same intensity and dedication as those that have remained undone.  Uh oh!  I just realized something about myself!  Those things that I felt most intimidated about were overshadowed by some of the “easier” stuff.  I’ll admit it.  I chickened out on maximizing the effort towards accomplishing the more difficult stuff and pacified myself by focusing more on the easier stuff.  A form of self-sabotage.  Once I continue through my list I realize that I must now increase my level accountability for each goal.  My new list of resolutions will include time constraints for each goal.  Time allocated for each goal means that I won’t spend too much time on the easy stuff.

As I read through my record of progress, I also realize that there are some things that I didn’t anticipate having to do to achieve my goal.  Although I had fabulous ideas about what I wanted to accomplish, I didn’t thoroughly research what bringing those ideas into fruition entails.  Seems like such a silly oversight, but it bears mentioning that in order to not set yourself up for failure - or become overly dependent upon “divine intervention” - following the steps of any goal or process from start to finish gives a complete idea of what’s required of you to make it happen before you commit to it. 

A healthy balance of criticism is also necessary in my evaluation of my 2013 performance.  Honestly, there were some things that were beyond my control.  Therefore, I shouldn’t critique myself too harshly in those areas where I did the research, put forth the effort but was short on resources.  The dilemma now becomes whether the goal should be expanded or if the challenge is worth the end result.  In either case, give yourself fair credit where credit is due. 

Having to continue adding the same goal year after year can uncover a need for some soul-searching.  If this goal is something that I feel I want badly enough to continue to give attention to it year after year but to no avail, the question becomes should I continue to try or let it go(?).  Why (other than what I’ve already considered above) is this something I continue in each year?  Am I doing this for my benefit?  Or am I doing this for someone else?  Some honest, personal self-reflection could be all that’s needed to actually end up dumping baggage cleverly disguised as goals and aspirations to make room for things that would actually improve my life and well-being. 

Have you made your New Year’s Resolutions?  If you’re like millions of others, your New Year’s Resolutions go something like “to lose the weight and gain more wealth.”  Or kick a bad habit.  While those are some good places to make improvements, I want you to take a more in depth look at what you would really dare to admit that you would want this New Year to make happen for you.  I know there’s something more that would be uncovered if we start peeling back the layers that have kept you floating through life and maintaining the status quo.  Just make certain that you aren’t lugging someone else’s baggage and are being realistic about what it is you want to achieve.  If you’re up to the challenge, why not push yourself to do more than trim off some pounds and ante up the savings?  Find out what’s been holding you back and make your journey more interesting.  Are you ready?  Happy NEW YOU 2014!!!!!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month 2013

The Big Girl Chronicles:  Breast Cancer Awareness Month 2013

Nestled in the corner seat of a cozy dining room, I listened intently as a breast cancer survivor in her sixties recants her battle with the breast cancer from almost 20 years ago.  She described the doctor finding benign tumors of various sizes that had gone undetected along with a growth measuring just under a centimeter that had to be removed.  I get a glimpse of the pain and anxiety she had to endure during the weeks of recovery from her facial expressions as she describes the treatments and follow-up visits.   “I always knew that something was wrong.  I’d had problems with my breasts for years,” she shares.  “So, getting checked was a must.” Fortunately, her early detection caught the cancerous growth before it could spread and she’s not had another bought with the disease.  Her testimony speaks volumes as to why women simply must make self-checks and annual mammograms a priority. 

“I’ve never had problems with my breast,” you say.  Don’t take that for granted.  Early detection is the single most important factor to surviving the disease.  In this case, early detection was detrimental to maintaining health with the least complications.  “I have no family history,” you say.  Although family history of breast cancer increases your risk, not having a family history doesn’t exclude you as a possible candidate for breast cancer.  Listen to the testimonials those who’ve faced the disease have to share and heed their advice. 

If you’ve been fortunate enough not to have had a breast cancer scare then take this month to not only continue in preventive measures such as self checks and routine mammograms, but focus on being a supporter of breast cancer research and other breast cancer survivors.  Below are a few resources for more information:

The Susan G. Komen Foundation

Komen.org

American Cancer Society

Cancer.org

National Breast Cancer Foundation

Nationalbreastcancer.org

Pink Ribbon Store.com (every order funds mammograms for women in need)

Make time to get checked.  If you know someone who hasn’t been checked, suggest that they accompany you.  Don’t take your body for granted.  Invest in your health.

   

Parenting and Public Schools Performance Improvement Plan

The Big Girl Chronicles:  Parenting and Public Schools Performance Improvement Plan (pt 4)

You’ve gotten your child acclimated to a new school district and secured a place in the school’s parent organization.  With a plan for academic success as to how you and your school can work together to provide the best educational opportunities available, you would think that things would go smoothly.  But… and there’s always that word tagging along no matter what you do… now comes another task.  As the academic year progresses, extracurricular activities become another role that you and your child must manage together. 

The role of extracurricular activities in your child’s academic career should not be underestimated.   As a whole, academics and extracurricular activities go hand in hand in shaping your child’s views about life, how to manage difficult situations, teamwork and healthy competition.  Also, your child will reflect upon the experiences (s)he has had throughout his or her education when making decisions in adulthood.  There’s no problem as long as your child makes the team.  But, what happens when (s)he doesn’t?  And as a parent, how do you help to make sure that your child’s desire to do more and participate in school clubs and organizations continues to build character and shape ideal citizens rather than destroy self esteem?    

If your child’s school district is willing to do all that is reasonably possible to assist in meeting the potential of each child, they will likely have pieced together some alternatives that can expand the range of programs, clubs, organizations, competitive sports and other extracurricular activities available for students to participate.  I’ve noticed that some schools have “A” and “B” teams for sports so that more children get the opportunity to play.  If that’s something that your child’s school hasn’t done consider suggesting it as an option.  The “A” and “B” concept can also be expanded to include cheerleading, dance and others. 

Should your school district not offer  an option similar to the “A” and “B” concept, there are some community organizations and churches sponsor youth sports organizations where your child is guaranteed to play for a small fee.  These organizations also do a range of competitive sports in addition to cheerleading, dance and other activities comparable to those in schools.  If there is no resource like this available in your area you can get with other parents who have children that didn’t make the cut and contact www.upward.org to get information about how to organize one in your area. 

Because recruitment and tryouts typically happen around the same time each year, why not get with other parents with children who hope to compete and organize an informal “summer camp” with someone who can help them practice and learn the basics?  The added confidence and experience could be just the edge needed to produce a better outcome for the next time. 

Consider alternatives like Boy/Girl Scouts to satisfy your child’s need to be included in activities outside of school.  It’s considerably less expensive than Youth Sports Organizations that are managed by community organizations and churches.  And when lead properly they provide valuable character and skill-building opportunities that will help shape ideal citizens. 

Honestly, there is only so much that school can do.  As much as your child’s school would like to take every child under their wing, when it comes to extracurricular activities and competitive sports the school wants to be represented well by the best there is.  Unfortunately, that might leave your child a spectator rather than a participant.  However, like most parents you’re likely not willing to accept that.  I’ve spoken with parents who have expressed disappointment at how schools manage recruitment and tryouts of extracurricular activities to the point that the parent withdraws their participation from all school organizations.  Although I empathize with their frustration, I also realize that trying to effect change from the outside looking in is limiting.  If there is more that can be done to encourage schools to be more inclusive of those students who continuously get sidelined, you’re going to have to opt for fight rather than flight.

    

Parenting and Public Schools Performance Improvement Plan

The Big Girl Chronicles:  Parenting and Public Schools Performance Improvement Plan (pt 3)

Among the most effective of ways to enhance your child’s academic experience is in joining your child’s school PTO.  Trying to find an active part can seem a little intimidating at first, but after joining you can review the projects and discuss with the members where you think your help would be most effective. If your child’s school PTO is wanting to beef up their projects, some activities that could be helpful include the following:

1)    During Nutrition Week when children learn about healthy living and eating habits, suggest that the school nutritionist consider allowing a day or week where the kids can plan the school menu.  This is a great way for kids to integrate what they’ve learned into everyday life.

2)    As a fundraiser for things like school beautification and other interests not entirely funded by the education budget, suggest that parents and kids lend their talents to donate and host a sale or auction.  Whether it’s a coupon for a free or discounted activity such as hairstyling or even babysitting, every little bit can be helpful.  You can make a “family night” of it by providing brown bag goodies and inviting families out for inexpensive games and activities.

3)    If your school is stumped as to how they can improve participation and increase funds, it could be a good idea to connect with a PTO that has a solid membership and history of successful fundraising and project completion for suggestions.  It might even be helpful to shadow their meetings and activities for a short time to bring fresh ideas to your school district.  

4)    Take advantage of all that social media has to offer and establish a twitter, facebook or other page to stay connected and network with not only your school district participants but others as well.  That’s the easiest way to stay with trends and share ideas. 

5)    Don’t shy from programs that offer educational incentives like BoxTops for Education and others.  The rewards that they provide simply for being more conscious of what products you purchase can only add to resources your child’s school PTO can use to make improvements. You could find that most of your members use these brands already. 

Participating in your child’s education is among the most memorable of experiences you will have.  Keeping things fun and minimizing stress makes it less of a chore and more like something to look forward to.  Although the suggestions above aren’t original, they could be tweaked or newly integrated into your child’s current school district to regain interest and improve membership in school parent organizations.  Keep it fun.  But most of all, keep the focus on creating an environment for your child that is conducive to learning and building character.  

Parenting and Public Schools Performance Improvement Plan

The Big Girl Chronicles:  Parenting and Public Schools Performance Improvement Plan (pt 2)

Ok. So, you did it.  You managed to relocate your family to a new city.  Now comes the next of many firsts in a new area that can be equally as much a headache as it is one of the many rewards of parenting.  The next feat to which I’m referring is getting your child off successfully for the first day of school and acclimated to a new school district.  Relocating to a different area you quickly learn that things happen differently, good or bad.  But don’t get discouraged!  Depending upon where you relocated from, your experiences could prove useful to get you on the road to becoming an active participant in your new community.  This is also an opportunity to network and build relationships that could prove valuable as you settle into your new environment.  Some suggestions that can be made include the following:

Back 2 School Night

After completing the registration process, I monitored the news, school marquees and local media eagerly anticipating the announcement of some sort of back-to-school event.  There was none.  So, my children and I arrived the first day of school totally clueless about what to expect.  I stopped one of the school staff and inquired about what we should do.  Her first comment was, “Oh, you’re new,” before she tried to give instructions about where we should go.  That’s when I realized that new families must not relocate to this area often.  Then I immediately reflected upon how smoothly things went on the first day of school at the departed school district.  Something as simple as a Back 2 School Night is an opportunity that isn’t costly and has many advantages for both newcomers and existing parents and students.  Here’s why.

1)     I moved with 3 children to navigate through this new school district.  Two of them were at one school while the other had to attend a different school.  The first immediate benefit of a Back 2 School Night held for a couple hours on a day prior to the first day of school is that parents – especially those with more than one child in the school system – would have the opportunity to tour the new school and become familiar with where their child(ren) will be.  This would be tremendously helpful to ease anxiety for the new students who could already have some nervousness about attending a new school.  In my case, I had to trust that my oldest daughter who isn’t that far in age from my youngest and attends the same school could find her way so that I could hold my youngest child’s hand and help her find her teacher and classroom. 

2)    The Back 2 School Night would ease parent anxiety, especially working parents who’ll have more confidence dropping their child(ren) off on that first day without having to take time off (if you’re a working parent) during the first morning of classes to do this.

3)    Back 2 School Night is an excellent opportunity to get those school supplies delivered as well as those annoying first of the school year forms signed that usually come home during the first week or so.  You can pick up your schedule(s), student handbook(s), course syllabus and other important info then and take the opportunity to review these things with your child prior to their first day.

4)    While children can take this opportunity to meet new faces and possibly reconnect with old classmates, parents can begin to familiarize themselves with the teachers and staff. 

5)    This is the best opportunity to get first dibs on new parents as PTO and other school support program participants.  Parents that are eager to have their child(ren) make a good first impression are more likely to volunteer their time and talent for fundraisers and school functions.

Anything that can be done to minimize anxiety and make getting off to school is definitely worth the effort.  And there is no better way to welcome newcomers into your school district than to have an organized plan for the first day of school.  If this is something that isn’t done at your child’s school, perhaps giving Back 2 School Night a try could yield some positive results that will make it a staple in the annual reconvening of your child’s school district.     

Parenting and Public Schools Performance Improvement Plan

The Big Girl Chronicles:  Parenting and Public Schools Performance Improvement Plan

Your child’s formative years have two components that are crucial to the person (s)he will become, what kind of citizen (s)he will be and the kind of life (s)he will create.  Those two components are education and home life.  A productive relationship between the two increases likelihood for success and further increases the child’s potential to learn.  Many times public schools get a poor score as we learn of outdated or inadequate text, ineffective classroom instruction, understaffing, unbalanced teacher-student ratio, lack of parental involvement/support and other hindrances. If you are a parent facing a school system that is struggling to meet the needs of your child, there are some things you can do to help.

Getting involved in your child’s education begins in the home.  Simple things like asking about the curriculum for the day and following up on homework assignments communicates to your child that you are paying attention and are interested in his or her education.  Seeking opportunities in the home to reinforce the curriculum also helps your child make the connection between what (s)he learned in the classroom and how it can be applied in the real world. The shared interests could also encourage your child to pay more attention in school anticipating the time the two of you will spend in the home discussing and reviewing the material.  Take things a step further and plan educational excursions on those long Saturdays or weekends to emphasize the lesson for the week.  Consider a trip to the library and review magazines and other reading material that compliment what’s been taught.  Do a web search to find out how the topic can be applied in other parts of the world.  Small details like these could also help you uncover your child’s interests and begin focus on narrowing down a chosen career.

Parental involvement doesn’t stop there. You also have a responsibility to represent your child in the school system.  If you haven’t been taking advantage of things like parent-teacher conferences and the PTA/PTO, those are two ideal places to start.  A school without a PTA/PTO could benefit from you and other concerned parents taking time to organize one.  And although requiring dues is ideal to assist with projects that could help with improvements, keep in mind that many students of some poorly performing public schools have single parents who are either unemployed or underemployed and cannot tack on additional expenses.  Your focus is on recruiting parents to open lines of communication between you and the school system, and becoming actively involved in improving education. Take time to jot down ideas of how you think the school could make improvements.  If your school has ranked low among the state, suggest things like shadowing what would be considered an ideal school to model after.  Or forming a student government organization even in elementary schools to help those students learn that they are the key components to their school’s success. Ask the teacher to share weekly/monthly lesson plans and curriculum to make certain you have time to prepare your plan for reinforcing material at home.  Invite speakers to come and discuss the importance of education.  Introduce new ideas such as interactive education or a merit system.  For instance, when children are learning about nutrition and health, allow them to help plan healthy cafeteria lunches for a week or month or predetermined amount of time that reflect what they’ve learned and put knowledge into action.  Don’t forget to send notes alerting other parents so they can plan to follow through in the home.  Each effort that is made to support parental involvement and children’s accomplishments should reflect in the child’s desire to learn, thus motivating them to do better on standardized tests and essentially bringing the school system’s status up to par as a whole.   

Once you have become oriented to how the school system works, you can take your efforts to help make improvements further.  Advocate for updates needed to enhance children’s learning by attending open school board meetings and making helpful suggestions, researching educational grants online that pertain to what you hope to achieve in your child’s school and collaborating with other supportive organizations to discuss fundraising and development.  Things that could make a difference include projects other schools have gained national attention initiating, such as peer mentoring, switching from textbooks to eReaders and introducing creative modes of teaching in addition to standard classroom instruction.  Expand support to include social and community organizations that include community service and improvement efforts as part of their agenda.  Ask for assistance in tutoring and mentoring children that have parents who aren’t available to contribute to their child’s learning and education. 

Assisting with your child’s education is just one of the many duties of full-time parenting.  The efforts you make are not in vain.  What you contribute will make a lasting impression on your child and follow him or her into adulthood.  For more ideas on how you can become more actively involved, visit parents4publicschools.org .  To get current information about the education system visit ed.gov.   

  

The Big Girl's War On Obesity

The Big Girl Chronicles:  The Big Girl’s War On Obesity

The Big Girl was among the millions who included weight loss on the list of New Year Resolutions.  My vision was to become a new and improved, leaner version of myself, and I was a blazing inferno at the onset of the year, having dropped just over 10 lbs at my leanest.  At my mid-year goal check, I find that I now hold a place among the millions who have also fizzled out and reestablished a relationship with my former fat body and the extra pound she made friends with while I was away.  Oh, well.  I’ve pushed that cute little outfit I rewarded myself with to the back of the closet.  Not wanting my failure to be considered a total loss, I’ve decided to describe it instead as a pause – which is really the best way to explain it as weight is an ongoing struggle for anyone who aspires to manage it responsibly.  And in pausing, I have to retrace the series of events that led my plump behind in this circle.  This is what I’ve discovered about myself and my perceptions. 

Reality.  Check.

Once I made up my mind that I wanted to shed some weight, I began exercising and researching meal plans that I could tolerate to meet my goals.  Knowing that weighing myself would cause disappointment, I relied more on how my clothing fit than to be bothered with actual pounds as read by a scale.  As I noticed more room I became so excited thinking I’d at least dropped one pant or dress size with all the leeway I seemed to have in my current size.  Imagine how shocked I was to discover that I hadn’t lost quite enough to drop a size at all!  I was thinking that this couldn’t possibly be accurate.  So I had to take another look at my clothes and what I learned blew my mind.  I’d been buying elastic waist pants, skirts and clothing that didn’t give an actual number as a size.  “So what?” you’re probably thinking.  It turns out that I was actually delusional about what my exact size really is!  What I’d been doing  - for exactly how long I’m not sure – is stuffing myself into “a size.”  As I slimmed down, I imagine  I finally actually fit correctly into “a size” I refused to accept was actually too small to start with.  I’m laughing hilariously at myself while I’m typing this, but I’m also so much more empathetic of others who struggle with weight.  This has been quite an eye-opening experience.

I’ve been taking myself for granted.

There was a time when I had uber high adrenaline and could eat all those unhealthy and calorie packed goodies like pizza and cheeseburgers (my temptation – don’t forget the fries), not to mention all those super calorie-rich desserts, without much consideration for weight gain and health concerns.  That was before children and real life.  Now I have to constantly wrestle with those temptations.  Yet, this was one area where I was taking for granted that I’d continue my routines at the level of intensity and dedication I had when the pounds were dropping.  I would cheat on my meal plans more often than I care to think about because I had lost “x” amount of pounds and was going to hit the gym each day.  Now in hindsight I realize that had I have been more disciplined and stuck with my meal plan honestly, eating properly would be more of a habit now.   Had I have planned (there’s that word again) for those times I’d be unable to get to the gym as faithfully because of other responsibilities,  perhaps there would be a lot less gain also.  I’d decided it wasn’t necessary to become a calorie-counting obsessed maniac to lose weight and enjoyed a “eat at your own risk” ethic in dieting to my detriment. 

In January I posted The Big Girl’s Guide to Fitness Motivation and mentioned a strategy for adhering to an exercise regimen and healthy diet. One of the things that keeps The Big Girl from growing into what I consider an ideal woman is that I don’t discipline myself to do the things I know are necessary to maintain the level of responsibility that accompanies womanhood.  With regard to my trek to lose weight, I’m once again at a standstill with 20/20 hindsight.  It’s one thing to recycle information of which we’re all aware.  It’s a completely different thing to actually put that information into use and do so consistently and successfully.