Wednesday, July 30, 2014

The Big Girl Turns 2!!!

The Big Girl Chronicles

The Big Girl has had 2 years in the blogosphere!  If you’ve traced back to my first post you read that I went through a divorce, which sparked my blog.  I found myself back at a place I’d made preparations to avoid educationally.  Yet I managed other aspects of my life so poorly that I ultimately sabotaged myself.  I know it seems silly.  But not making decisions with my goals and interests in mind has allowed someone else to dictate my circumstances so much so until I awoke one day wondering how I ended up in such a mess so completely opposite of where I wanted to be.   And from there the digging began.  I had to sift through each decision I made to understand where (and how often) I made mistakes.

My blog has been therapeutic.  There’s retail therapy, and there’s blog therapy.  I’ve had quite a bit of fun with it, too - experimenting with the various avenues of expression in media.  There are so many who share common struggles and experiences that it is helpful to click on a link or visit a webpage and read about how someone else handled whatever obstacle or difficulty.  Or what’s trending.  And from those ideas form an online presence and identity that represent you.  I’m in no position to offer any advice about managing a blog.  From what I gathered, it’s all about what you want it to be.  When I began my blog, these are the things I took into consideration:

My Intentions

I thought about why I wanted to blog, and quite frankly it was because I had accumulated so many journals from writing all these years that it seemed more of a chore to have to store them or tote them around upon relocating.  And in keeping with the times, It’s quite obvious that each generation is progressing toward a future with less pen and paper.  Thus the blog. 

 The pros & Cons

Entertaining the what-ifs wasn't that much a concern because of my intentions.  I realized that my blog would be a reflection of myself and a stamp in the blogosphere of just that - who i am.  There is always potential to grow.  And I have blogged how I would like to be recognized... only I'm still trying to get to grown.  Not the kind of grown that is "deserving" of yes ma'ams and whatever.  But the kind of grown where i've managed myself less like someone subjected to circumstances and approval and more like how a responsible, independent woman of age is expected to manage her life.
 The pros and cons of it are essentially to blog at your own risk.  What is posted is a direct reflection of yourself to not only friends and relatives, but extends to all audiences - intended and unintended.

Expected Outcome(s)

I haven't any real expected outcomes for my blog.  I know that is a direct contradiction of many of my posts, such as Why Plan and others that are consistent with a theme of planning and preparation.   For the most part I wanted to focus on what’s worth preserving and how it’s presented rather than blogging about a bunch of crap that isn’t conducive to building character or bettering circumstances.  It's been interesting to learn that given the choice to focus on progress and growth or continue emphasizing faults and fallacies it seems most choose to keep with the latter.  Regardless, this blog is  my story and there is no pressure to meet any deadlines or subscriber quotas.  It's just me.

Healthy Balance

In my life I've noticed that a healthy balance is what has been missing and could hold some responsibility for how I became such a mess.  Things were always at one extreme or the other.  And I learned that what you focus on becomes what your world revolves around.  Seems like a "duh," right?  And it is until you realize that some things that have your attention have taken control of you.  Without a healthy balance that could be to your detriment.  If I focus on subscribers and deadlines rather than what I want my blog to represent, I risk compromising my intentions for the sake of an audience that I was never supposed to have.  That doesn't mean not to strive for that if an audience is part of the original purpose.  But it does expose who you are without it.  Was the blog about you?  Or we're you merely seeking attention?

The world is full of opportunity to achieve limitless possibilities. There are countless online platforms that allow anyone to do just that.  But as with anything else, not everyone is going to achieve the same measure of success.  If your idea of success is defined by how you compare with another you could be hurting yourself by deciding that you are a failure at something that - minus the comparison - has brought you some degree of satisfaction and growth.   The Big Girl Chronicles has been that.  My therapy.  My reminder that I might not always come out on top, but that's ok.  What matters most in my life is what I have achieved by my standards.

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